


Daijoubu

by Shoumai



Series: It's Going to be Alright [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I genuinely don't know how to tag this, KawoShin getting a HAPPY ENDING DARN IT, Living in a foreign country, Lots of Cute Stuff, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Running Away, Trauma, but this is still Evangelion, hopeful, learning to heal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-05 20:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17331464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoumai/pseuds/Shoumai
Summary: Same idea as the 'What if' story but expanded. Kaworu and Shinji are on the lam hiding from NERV and SEELE while trying to settle into their own lives in the United States. There is hope for the broken to heal, if only they are given the chance.





	1. A Safe Place to Land

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the big project I have been putting off. I am going to start cross-posting this as I find the time to do it. My goal is to have this caught by the time I finish writing chapter 6. Since ffdn doesn't allow cross posting I will have to type it all up for the second time so wish me luck. This might take a little bit...
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion

The apartment was small, consisting of three rooms. There were cracks in the plaster, they didn't have many possessions, and the bedroom door looked like someone had tried to punch a hole in it.

But, Kaworu mused, it wasn't that bad. The air was clean, no smell of cigarettes or drugs, and they had considered that to be a good sign. 

The rent wasn't very high either, and their neighbors seemed to be good people. Kaworu wasn't sure of everything in their surroundings yet. (He spoke enough English to hold a fairly good conversation with other people but that hardly made him an expert in western culture.) But so far, the week and a half they had been there was going well.

Red eyes stared at the window as rain continued to beat down on the glass. The storm was fairly powerful but the angel found that to be soothing. No one in their right mind with a choice in the matter would be out on a night like tonight. So while he honestly did not think that SEELE ha traced them to America yet, this was reassurance that no one was out looking for them right now.

Shinji gave a sigh in his sleep and snuggled closer to his bed mate. His arm was draped over Kaworu's waist and his head was pillowed on his chest. The boy was warm and his unconscious cuddling wrapped more of the blanket around the both of them. In his sleep, Shinji became less timid about pursuing what he wanted. It didn't take much to turn him into a shameless cuddle-bug. 

A fond smile tugged at Kaworu's lips as his attention was diverted to the Third Child. Even in the darkness of the room, the boy's beauty was obvious to him.

Kaworu himself, ought to be asleep at this hour but it hadn't taken him a long time to decide that Shinji was more beautiful up-close and in the angel's arms.

A loud crack of thunder and a flash of lightning from outside caused the brunet's eyebrows to furrow and his body to tremble faintly. Pale fingers stroked over the boy's hair lovingly. 

Kaworu's lips brushed over Shinji's face and eyelids at the same time as he offered words of comfort. He had been making progress regarding Shinji's nightmares, they had even gotten through a full night without them. 

But other nights contained things like this. 

A loud noise could be all it took to thrust Shinji back into Unit-01, fighting for his life.

Kaworu knew that it would pass with time but he couldn't help wishing that there was more he could do.

"Kaworu?" Shinji asked quietly, his voice hoarse with sleep. Half open eyes revealed the boy to be barely awake.

The angel offered Shinji a smile. "It was just a dream, Shinji." He soothed.

"You were gone." The Third child croaked. He wasn't crying, but there was no denying the terror in his voice. "I - I thought you were -"

Kaworu made a shushing sound and lightly kissed Shinji's lips. "I'm okay. I won't leave you." He rubbed his hand over Shinji's back slowly to help the boy calm down. "It was just a nightmare Shinji. Go back to sleep, I'll protect you."

Not really awake to begin with, Shinji took the angel's promise to heart. It wasn't even a full minute before sleep had pulled him back under. 

The Fifth Child felt a small wave of relief when the brunet returned to sleeping peacefully. The stress from all of the recent chaos had been leaving Shinji exhausted and Kaworu would not be surprised if the boy didn't remember this event in the morning. 

It still left the silver-haired teen feeling a bit bothered, all the same. But if Shinji was afraid of losing him that was easy to remedy by always being there.

Kaworu pressed one last kiss to the crown of Shinji's head before closing his eyes and going to sleep himself.


	2. The Following Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first posted this chapter, I made about a billion edits to it. And now, seven years later, I found more things still to clean up as I readied it for cross-post. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

It was still raining when Shinji awoke the next morning. The first sight to greet him was the not unfamiliar ceiling of their apartment but Kaworu's sleeping face.

Shinji felt his cheeks grow hot when he realized how closely they were curled up together. It had been like this ever since he'd met Kaworu, and in truth, Shinji liked it. Being held so close and so carefully felt like being wrapped in pure love.

Speaking of feeling loved... Shinji's cheeks darkened some more when he thought about last night. He didn't really remember it all that much, but the feeling of being kissed was still in his mind. Shinji liked that as much as he liked being held.

Red eyes opened and a smile curved up on Kaworu's lips. "Good morning, Shinji." A pale hand reached up to stroke the other's cheek.

Shinji's cheeks grew hotter under the boy's touch. "G-good morning." He stuttered.

For awhile they just stayed like that. Kaworu's soft hand fondly caressing Shinji's flushed cheeks, both listening to the sound of the other's breathing.

Several long moments passed in the comfortable silence before the angel sat up. "We had better get up now." He said at length. "We'll be late if we don't."

Shinji made a hum of agreement in his throat as he watched Kaworu get out of bed to look out the window.

The brunet laid under the covers for an extra moment before getting up himself. He joined the angel at the window, his breath fogging the glass as blue eyes peered out in the storm. "It looks cold outside." He murmured.

"It does." Kaworu agreed. This would be troublesome seeing as how they weren't in possession of many warm clothes as of yet. Pale hands came to rest on narrow shoulders as he leaned forward and pressed a light, but firm, kiss to Shinji's lips. "It's to help you keep warm." The silver-haired boy said in response to the other's questioning gaze.

That logic had its merits if the hot flush creeping down the Third Child's neck was anything to go by. At that moment Shinji doubted he would ever be cold (or have pale cheeks) again.

After touching the boy's cheek again for the faintest moment, Kaworu walked over to the closet to get their day clothes. He found Shinij still waiting for him by the window when he turned around.

Shinji nervously mumbled a word of thanks as he took his change of clothes from the other's hands.

The coldness of the room urged the boys to change quickly and move onto breakfast.

The meal itself was pretty simple. They had bought some pots and pans along with a toaster a few days ago when they had purchased groceries. Kaworu silently thanked whatever power was out there that the apartment had come with basic furnishings as he handed Shinji his glass of orange juice. 

Once they had finished their toast and juice Kaworu grabbed the black umbrella by the door and they made their way to work.

Shinji's grip on Kaworu's hand tightened when the cold air met his skin. It was colder than the Third Child had thought it would be and the umbrella was really a little too small for the both of them.

The angel gave the hand in his a slight squeeze before looking over at its owner. "Let's run." He said, and then proceeded to take Shinji with him as fast as he thought the boy could handle.

Despite the chill Shinji felt a little childish giddiness take hold in his senses as he and the Fifth Child did their best to hurry.

His mind recognized it was a new experience while his feelings insisted that it was childhood. He remembered Kaworu telling him about things that lilim identified through instinct rather than personal experience. Maybe this was one of those? It didn't change the fact that Shinji couldn't help the small smile on his lips.

By the time they reached the bakery both boys were flushed from the cold. Soft music and warm air greeted them as they went inside.

Goosebumps flared up on Shinji's skin as he came into contact with the warmth. Blue eyes watched the shop bell tinkle as Kaworu closed the door.

The angel noticed that Shinji was shivering and reached out to grasp one of his hands. "You're cold." Kaworu said softly. Lifting Shinji's hand up, he breathed warm air onto it.

The Third Child blushed at the gesture. "K-Kaworu..."

"Oh my, don't you boys have coats?"

Kaworu smiled at the old woman behind the counter. "No ma'am, I'm afraid we don't yet."

Mrs. White smiled a bit, "I've told you before to call me Sally." She said in a voice that was gentle but serious. She was a kindly woman with gray hair and smile lines who owned the bakery with her husband. Kaworu and Shinji had been hired a week ago and so far all was going well.

Shini shifted closer to the angel nervously as he watched the exchange. He didn't speak enough English to know what they were saying but Kaworu's smile helped to put him at ease a bit. Besides, the angel had said that she was a nice person and Shinji trusted his judgement. 

"I'm sorry." The Fifth Child said lightly. "We're start work in a moment. Good morning." He gently squeezed Shinji's hand that was still in his to gain the boy's attention. "It's time to start work." Kaworu said in soft Japanese.

Shinji nodded and offered his own good morning to Sally. His words were uncertain adn accented but she smiled at him all the same. 

"Take you time to warm up, both of you. It's cold out there." With that, Sally started humming as she went about getting the bakery ready to open.

It wasn't long before Kaworu and Shinji had joined her. 

The Third Child liked working at the bakery. It felt safe here. Even though out of all the people here the only person he understood more than an odd word from was Kaworu. The customers who came in were as careful when they spoke to him as Sally was, and they made sure to point to what they wanted as they asked for it.

The world had been a mess since the Second Impact so it probably wasn't surprising to see foreigners who couldn't speak much of the native language. Especially since America was such a big country. It also made their age seem to stand out less due to the number of orphans running around.

"Three muffins, please." A young woman in her twenties said, holding up three fingers and pointing to the muffins with her other hand.

Shinji nodded and put them in a brown paper bag before handing them to her. 

The lady smiled and paid for them at the register where Sally was.

They were talking to each other pleasantly as Kaworu restocked some of the bread. He overheard the words 'Shinji' and 'cute' and smiled to himself in agreement. 

The Third Child was wiping down the counter and, though he was oblivious to the nature of the conversation, looked up and blinked when he heard his name. 

Both women giggled which only served to further the brunet's confusion. "What are they talking about?" He asked Kaworu.

The angel reached over to touch the boy's cheek. "They think you're doing a good job." He said with a smile.

Shinji turned pink at that and looked down at the floor He took a deep breath and turned to face the two women. "Th-thank you." He stuttered out.

The young woman, whom Kaworu had heard called 'Anne', giggled again. "You're welcome, sweetie. I hope you're both here the next time I visit."

The Fifth Child rested a hand on Shinji's shoulder as he answered. "We hope to see you again."

The day continued on like that. A steady flow of customers coming in to make a purchase and talk to Sally. By now Kaworu and Shinji had been working there long enough that they were treated like friends, or perhaps Sally's grandsons.

....

"You two close your eyes and hold out your hands." An older man with a beard said to Kaworu and Shinji as he reached into his pockets. 

The brunet looked over at the angel questioningly after Kaworu explained it to him. Why did they need to close their eyes?

Kaworu complied first. Shutting his read eyes and holding out his hands palms-up. He looked perfectly calm and patient, not at all worried about it. 

Slowly, Shinji copied the other boy. He trusted Kaworu implicitly, so even though he didn't know what was going to happen it couldn't be anything bad.

There was some rustling and then something was placed in the boy's hands. He didn't move.

Kaworu opened his eyes and stared at what he has been given. He thanked the man and looked over at Shinji to see his reaction. The angel chuckled when he saw that the boy's eyes were still closed. "Shinji, you can open your eyes now." He said.

Blue eyes opened and stared curiously at the piece of candy and two dollar bills sitting in his hands. After a second, Shinji remember his manners and thanked the man. 

Said man smiled, nodded, and left.

Once the door closed the ex-Eva pilots eyes went back to what was in his hands. It felt so strange, he wasn't used to people being so kind to him all the time. Very carefully, he placed the candy and money into his pocket.

The Fifth Child's hand found its way to the other boy's cheek. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Shinji blushed at the contact, then nodded. "Mm. We should get back to work." He murmured shyly.

Kaworu gave a fond smile.

....

 

By the time the bakery was closing up for the day the rain was down to a drizzle. 

Kaworu finished one last sweep of the floor while Shinji cleaned the counters again. Sally was putting away the baked good that hadn't sold into paper bags. 

"We'll be going home now, Sally." Kaworu said as he got the umbrella and walked over to the other boy.

Sally walked both boys to the door. "Now you boys walk safely, and take this with you." She handed Shinji the bigger of the two paper bags.

The boy blinked his blue eyes and thanked her. He understood just enough to know what was going on and the correct response to make. 

The angel smiled and repeated the sentiment, adding a 'take care' and taking Shinji's free hand before walking out the door.

The Third Child held the bag carefully to his chest and clung close to the silver-haired boy's side. They took off at a run again, hands clasped tightly and giggling between breath.

It wasn't long before they were back at the apartment. 

Kaworu placed the umbrella to dry by the front door, the water dripped quietly onto the linoleum floor. 

Shinji put the paper bag full of baked good into one of the cupboards for later. 

"Welcome home, Shinji." The angel said sweetly from the door.

The brunet turned and smiled. "Welcome home, Kaworu."


	3. Human Kindness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts that went through my head trying to get the format of this chapter right to match the original were many and full of profanity but the hard work has paid off. I have also realized, in hindsight, that I could have named this chapter 'Invasion of the Ellipses'.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

"I."

"'I'."

"Very good. What does it mean?"

"Umm, 'boku'."

"That's right." Kaworu smiled at the boy sitting across from him. It had become daily practice to teach Shinji a few new words every night at supper or before they went to sleep. The Third Child may not have had the best gift for language but he was far from stupid so progress was steady. "Good job."

Shinji himself was silently amazed by the silver haired boy's skill with English. The more he knew about the other, the more perfect the angel appeared to be.

A small smile was present on the ex-pilot's lips. "It w-wasn't that much." He mumbled, looking away shyly. The Fifth Child was also probably the best teacher that Shinji had ever had; he didn't get upset over mistakes and complimented Shinji when he did well. 

"It is." Kaworu insisted. "You're making plenty of progress." He reached across the table for the brunet's hand. The pad of his thumb ran over the back of Shinji's hand as he spoke to him.

Shinji's blue eyes went form looking at the hand in question to the empty dishes across the table. "It's my turn to wash them tonight." He said, mostly for a change in topic.

"I'll dry."

.........

_Everything was muddled. Shinji's mind felt sluggish, like he was sinking in this liquid that was inexplicably all around him._

_Not water... LCL..._

_The smell of blood struck his sense and a wave of panic came crashing through him. This wasn't right! Was he in an Eva? How did he get there? And where was -?_

_"Kaworu..." Shinji said feebly. There was no repsonse. Nothing but the LCL surrounding him. "KAWORU!" He shouted. "Kaworu! Where are you!?" There was still no reply._

_Sobs were beginning to tear at Shinji's throat. Had it all been a dream?_

_Then the details began to clear. He wasn't drifting in endless space, he was in Unit-01's cockpit. His hands were gripping the controls and Shinji could feel himself trembling._

_There was an angel in front of him. But it wasn't **his** angel. It wasn't Kaworu. It was tall and horrible. One of its eyes turned to look at him; then the body, slowly, until it was facing him._

_He was choking. Choking on blood. He couldn't think, couldn't **breathe**._

_The angel charged._

_The Third Child screamed._

_Screaming. Screaming. Death. Screaming. Silence._

 

..........

 

Blue eyes looked frantically around the apartment bedroom. It was a nightmare, another nightmare.

Tears ran down the brunet's cheeks and he tried to stay quiet so he wouldn't wake Kaworu.

Kaworu...

Shinji sat up slowly and looked at the space next to him. The silver haired angel was laying still beside him, his chest rising and falling steadily.

A hiccup came out of the boy's throat and he pulled his knees up to his chest. The salty water droplets ran down his nose and chin, dripping onto the blanket.

"Shinji." The bed creaked. "Shinji, what's wrong?" Pale hands reached out and cupped the Third Child's face.

"Kaworu..." Shinji whispered, body shaking from sobs. "Kaworu..."

Kaworu felt the wetness on the ex-Eva pilot's cheeks and frowned lightly. "Come here." Carefully, he coaxed the boy into his arms.

The brunet clutched at the angel's shirt, burying his face into the other's shoulder. His body shook as a sob forced its way out of his throat. Why did these horrible things keep finding him no matter where he hid? Why couldn't he drive them from his mind?

Kaworu rubbed and patted Shinji's back gently. "You're safe, Shinji." He soothed as he ran his pale fingers through the boy's sweaty brown locks. "It's going to be okay." The shaking and sobs persisted, prompting the Fifth Child to try another tactic. A slowly hummed rendition of Ode to Joy that sounded very like a lullaby. His hands never ceasing in their motions. 

After a while the crying stopped and Shinji sat motionless against the humming angel. the sound filled up his mind and steadied his breathing. 

Slowly, it faded off to be replaced by the other's heartbeat. Shinji kept listening to it for long minutes. 

"Kaworu...." He said at last.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

Kaworu looked at the boy confused. "You don't have to apologize for anything."

The Third Child kept his gaze fixed on one of his own hands, which was still gripping Kaworu's shirt. "I've been such a bother to you." He said. "Even though I asked to come with you, I'm such a mess. It can't be worth all the trouble when I can barely get through one night without waking you like this."

Pale lips pulled into another faint frown. "Shinji, I love you. You asking to come with me made me so happy." Kaworu smiled again and pressed a kiss to the crown of the boy's head. "You aren't any trouble at all and these nightmares are not your fault." It was SEELE's fault. **Gendo Ikari's** fault, that Shinji had to suffer like this but Kaworu didn't say that.

It would be better for Shinji if he didn't know right now that Kaworu was capable of being upset, much less angry, with someone. It wasn't an emotion the angel felt very often. He had manged to keep his feelings for most of the people who had hurt the Third Child at a strong dislike with a severe disappointment in them. Tabris did not become angry or hate people easily, but someone who incurred such an emotion from him would not get off lightly.

He brought a hand to Shinji's face and urged the brunet to look at him. "I love you." kaworu repeated with his warm smile and kissed Shinji sweetly.

Blue eyes closed and the Third Child gave into the kiss. He could feel the other boy starting to lay them both back down and brought a hand out to stop him.

The silver haired angel paused mid-motion and waited for further explanation.

"...I don't want to go back to sleep yet." Shinji admitted hesitantly.

"Do you want to take a bath? You woke up sweaty." Kaworu offered.

The brunet nodded and made an agreeing hum in his throat. He knew that the other boy meant together and felt a blush rise on his cheeks.

......

The bathroom was actually fairly bid, but just as plain and unfurnished as the rest of the apartment, with the exception of the towels in the cabinet. 

Shinji stood by the doorway as he watched the hot water fill the tub. It was a nice, clean bathtub. Plain white, and just big enough for two people to share with relative comfort. When the tub had filled, Kaworu reached out with a pale hand to shut off the faucet. His free hand had already begun to take the tear-soaked sleep shirt off.

The brunet followed suit, resolutely trying not to look over at the other as a flush of embarrassment spread over his skin. Just as he finished undressing the sight of Kaworu's bare shoulders caught Shinji's attention.

The skin there was just as pale and smooth-looking as it was on the rest of Kaworu's body. But a sudden thought popped into Shinji's head at the sight of them. 

When he was very little, the Third child remembered seeing a picture book full of watercolor paintings. In one of them, there were people with pure white wings and robes flying around in the sky. The people were angels, like Kaworu. It made Shinji wonder what Kaworu would look like with a pair of large white wings sprouting from his back.

The silver haired boy turned and pressed a hand to Shinji's face, thumb stroking his cheek fondly. "Shinji?" He asked.

The ex-Eva pilot was pulled for his imagining and stared into the curious red eyes that were so close to his. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, his gaze flickering over to the water for a moment. "I was thinking about something."

Kaworu smiled. "Come on," he said. "Or that water will get cold."

Shinji nodded and followed after Kaworu into the tub, his back resting against the Fifth Child's front. The water was pleasantly hot against the brunet's skin. Kaworu's pale arms wound around Shinji's waist, holding him close.

Bad things usually found Shinji in the bath. Thought he didn't want to have... Memories he would rather forget... But with the angel so close to him it felt like none of that could reach him. He was safe.

The Fifth Child cupped some water in his hands and poured it over the brunet's chest. He repeated the action several more times, feeling the boy in his arms relax. "I'll help you wash." He said softly.

"Y-you don't have to!" Shinji protested feebly. Living so close with Kaworu was wearing down his resistance to this sort of thing. Still, he didn't think that he would be okay with it if it were anyone else... Kaworu just sort of had a way of slipping past Shinji's barriers and making things he was normally afraid of as easy as breathing.

"It's okay." The angel replied, going about his task gently and carefully. "This is just another way for me to express my feelings to you." Pale hands continued to wash the boy, by now Kaworu had gone back to humming.

The Third Child stared at the faucet as he resigned himself to the other's kindness. "Um..." He began hesitantly, a faint flush rising on his skin again.

The humming stopped. "Hm?"

"...can I help you wash, too?"

Kaworu smiled, thought Shinji couldn't see it as he was still looking the other way. "Yes. Thank you."

Once they had finished their bath, they got out of the tub. Kaworu wrapped a towel around Shinji and kissed his forehead before pulling the plug so the bath water could drain.

The Fifth Child reached out to help dry the brunet off. His hands worked in a very certain manner to get all the stray droplets off of the boy in front of him. 

The ex-Eva pilot was more hesitant but, once there was an opening in the angel's movements, he grabbed the other towel and started to return the favor. 

When they were both dry, the dressed. This time Shinji managed not to end up staring at Kaworu's bare back. He was the silver haired boy leave his wet sleep shirt to dry before turning to face him. 

Shinji felt a pang of guilt at it. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

Kaworu cocked his head to the side slightly, not understanding the brunet's reason for giving an apology. After a second, a light of realization dawned in his red eyes. "It's fine. I don't mind it at all, and a little water won't hurt it." He said before reaching out with both his hands and resting them on the other boy's shoulders.

The pale, long-fingered hands were a warm and comforting weight on Shinji's shoulders. The look in Kaworu's eyes stated clearly that he considered making the Third Child feel better far more important.

"Ready to go back to bed?" Kaworu asked softly.

Shinji nodded and let the angel switch off the light before going back to the bedroom.

The Fifth Child got in first and the brunet followed shortly after, snuggling into the angel's arms and pillowing his head on his bare chest.

Shinji tried to ignore his nervousness and embarrassment at the feeling of Kaworu's bare skin adn instead focus on the niceness of it. Once of his hands acted on its own and slid over the silver haired teen's bare skin until it was resting on one of his shoulder blades. Fingers brushed gently over the pale back. The action wasn't absent-minded. Shinji's mind was intently fixed on the softness and warmth that belonged to Kaworu.

The brunet's mind had gone back to pondering on wings and what they would feel like. Surely they would make something like this difficult. Just laying down would take a lot of time and care. But Shinji was certain that they would be just as soft and warm as the rest of Kaworu was. White wings were what angels typically had, but they wouldn't give much contrast against the Fifth Child's pale complexion. Still, the ex-pilot was sure they would suit him.

The fact that he was thinking about this so much was probably a sign that he was close to falling back to sleep. Shinji breathed in the angel's clean scent deeply and let the breath out in a contented sigh. "Kaworu?" He murmured drowsily as his blue eyes began to droop.

The angel ran his fingers through the short brown hair of the boy in his arms. "Yes, Shinji?" He asked, he hadn't gone to sleep yet. He wanted to make sure that Shinji was asleep and content before he went to sleep, himself.

"I love you." 

Kaworu looked down with a surprised expression before smiling. "I love you, too."

Shinji closed his eyes and made a soft hum in his throat. Seconds later he was asleep.

........

"This is ridiculous." Misato mumbled to herself as she looked over the piles of paperwork in front of her. She really should be sleeping, but so far everything was in utter chaos. Shinji and the Fifith Child had disappeared so suddenly, yet nothing was apparently being done about it. 

There might have been a time when Misato was willing to take a 'he'll come home when he gets hungry' approach to Shinji running away. But that was before she knew the boy well enough to realize that he didn't do that sort of thing just because something wasn't going how he wanted it to.

He had been through some truly traumatic experiences the last time she had seen him. Even Asuka, who seemed to have the will to bounce back from anything, was just starting to recover. And that was only with Rei's help.

The long haired woman bit back a sigh. Shinji had been missing for nearly two weeks and she had no idea where he was. Then there was the fact that he wasn't alone, he couldn't be. Kaworu Nagisa must have gone with him. Honestly, Misato wished she could say that that knowledge made her feel a little relieved. But there was something about Nagisa that was... off. Something not quite human...

And then there was SEELE. just what were they up to? The angels appeared to have gone silent. If only her sense of foreboding would go away Misato might be able to consider that good news. 

The sound of a mug being set down beside her bed startled the woman from her thoughts. She rolled over on her futon and came face-to-face with Rei.

"Drink it before it gets cold." The First Child said softly.

Misato sat up, shoving her paperwork the rest of the way off the futon, and picked up the mug of steaming cocoa. Recently, Reu had taken to coming over for Asuka's sake as her presence seemed to help the girl. She had even started to share a room with her when she spent the night.

They had all silently agreed to leave Shinji's room untouched. Perhaps it was silly, but it they left it as it was the hope remained that he would come home soon. And as soon as they were done being relieved that Shinji was alive and well Misato was going to ground him for the rest of his life.

Misato blinked as something suddenly occurred to her. "Rei." She called to the girl who was on her way out the door.

Rei stopped mid-step and turned to look back at Misato. "Yes? What is it?" She asked.

Misato looked over at the girl again; confirming that she was, in fact, in her day clothes and that the exhaustion wasn't making the woman hallucinate. "Why are you awake?" The 'at this hour' was heavily implied.

Rei blinked at the question, a note of confusion evident in her eyes. "It's morning." With that statement still in the air, she left. Asuka was waiting for her at the breakfast table.

The purple haired woman looked at her window distressed. True to word, rays of sunlight were shining through the curtian. "Really?" She asked to no one dejectedly. Her eyes went back to the mug in her hands, this time fully processing that Rei hadn't made her coffee. Misato's expression softened. "She's a good girl. Worrying that I've been up all night." Closing her eyes, she took a sip. Once she was done she'd go to sleep. 

It wouldn't do for the kids to be worrying about the adults after all.

.......

Kaworu grasped Shinji's hand and turned to look at Sally. "We'll see you on Monday." He said.

They were on their way to the door when the elderly woman called out to stop them. "One minute, boys. I have something for you." 

Shinji looked from Kaworu to Sally confused when the angel stopped walking and their boss pulled two shopping bags out from behind the counter. 

"Here." She said, handing one to each of them. "See if they fit."

Both boys looked into the bags and had similar expressions of surprise on their faces. In each bag was a warm winter coat. They looked at Sally before following through on her instructions and putting them on. 

Kaworu recovered from his shock first and moved to help Shinji zip his coat up.

The brunet just watched the other boy silently, still feeling very overwhelmed. 

The gray haired woman smiled approvingly at the ex-pilots. "They were my sons coats but they still have a lot of wear left. It's been cold out lately and they were just taking up space in out closet." She said.

The angel turned to look at Sally again with a smile of his own. "Thank you so much." His voice was completely sincere. It was have been bad if they had gotten sick from the recent coldness of the weather. 

The blue eyed boy felt his face warm, he opened his mouth to thank Sally as well but he couldn't get the words to come. He was simply too stunned to speak.

Mrs. White seemed to understand, though. Walking over to him, she put a hand on his shoulder. "You're very welcome. Both of you." She gave a light squeeze. "Now you boys had better get going before it gets too much later."

Kaworu nodded and took Shinji's hand once more. "Thank you again, Mrs. White." The bells on the shot door tinkled sweetly as they left.

Smiling still, the old woman shook her head. "Goodness gracious, I've said before to call me Sally." She said to herself.

.............

Shinji clung tightly to Kaworu's hand as they walked. The coat was warm and it smelled like Sally and the bakery. "Kaworu..."

The Fifth Child turned his head back to look at the younger boy. "Yes Shinji, what i-" He was cut off by the brunet launching himself into the angel's arms. "Shinji?" He asked in a mix of confusion and concern, red eyes wide. 

Shinji's arms were soundly wrapped around the other teen's neck and his face was buried in his shoulder, muffling the words that came out. "I don't understand." His body trembled as he spoke. "Why are they so kind? Why is everyone so kind to me?"

Kaworu's arms found their way around the ex-Eva pilot's waist and held him tightly but gently. "It's in the nature of living creatures to be kind. Kindness is as vital to living as oxygen. Without it, it's impossible to get by alright." He was speaking softly into the other's ear.

The warm breath floated over the Third Child's skin and made him shiver but it couldn't be noticed over the rest of his shaking. "I'm scared. I don't want it to hurt."

The angel's eyes softened and he could feel his heart breaking for the boy in his arms. "You poor thing," he said with sadness in his voice. "You've been hurt so many times by people you love that you're afraid to accept kindness from other lilim anymore." Pale hands ran over the trembling back, patting and rubbing to try to calm the other down. "It isn't going to hurt, Shinji. I won't let it hurt ever again."

Kaworu pressed a light kiss to the crown of Shinji's head. "It's alright. Shinji, it's alright." Once the brunet had calmed a little, the Fifth Child laced their fingers together and led him home. rest would do them both good, Shinji especially. Part of healing the mental and psychological damage done to the ex-pilot was working on his ability to trust. He was still scared, and overwhelmed, and was resorting to using old methods of emotional defense. The angel knew that part of the process was simply going to be repeated exposure to a safe environment and letting the boy become comfortable in it. Slowly, but surely, the person he loved was healing. 

Shinji continued to hang onto the silver haired boy's hand as his lifeline. He was safe. He knew that as long as he was with the angel, he would be safe, regardless of where they were. Kaworu wasn't going to let anyone hurt him again. So why did he still have moments where the kindness of another person made him feel so scared?


	4. The Space Left Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that Kaworu is actually portrayed as playing a violin not a viola, but I've been putting it as a viola sometimes in different works because I remembered which instrument it was. I will try to keep it uniform in this but apologies for inconsistencies. Put it right next to spelling 'lilim' instead of 'lilin' I guess.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Sunday was spent mostly in bed.

Shinji laid in Kaworu's arms and listened as the Fifth Child talked to him about different topics. It was mostly lighthearted silly things like children's stories, but Shinji loved it dearly.

Sundays at Whistling Winds Bakery were usually slow. So this particular Sunday the boys had been given off. And considering the events of last night the silver haired angel felt the downtime was necessary.

For the moment they were quiet. Pale fingers affectionately combed through brown hair as Shinji thought about what to say next. Everything was calm and relaxed. It made Shinji feel more confident when he spoke. "Do you remember when you said you were born to meet me?" He asked.

Kaworu answered with a nod of his head. "I mean it." Not 'meant' because the words still held true. He'd say it again if the Third Child wanted, as often as he liked.

The brunet was happy to hear that. That had probably been the single most important night of his life so far. "I think - I mean, I'm pretty sure," he stumbled with his words a little as nervousness began to find its way back into his chest. "Th-that I was born to meet you, too." He fidgeted with the bed sheet awkwardly, hesitant to look directly at the red eyes in front of him.

A smile touched the Fifth Child's lips. He wound his arms a little tighter around the lilim boy, bringing him closer. "Thank you." Kaworu whispered into the shell of the other's ear. "It makes me happy to hear you say that." 

Despite the faint blush warming his face, Shinji felt nothing but happiness spreading throughout his chest and all the way to his fingertips. It was a wonderful feeling. Yesterday's panic attack was a memory that kept getting fainter by the second; it was almost like it had never happened.

Shinji lifted a hand and traced his fingers over Kaworu's upper arm to his shoulder and across his collarbone. The Third Child lingered there for a moment before letting the slim digits travel up the pale column of the other's neck to seek out his pulse. 

The angel accepted the soft touch happily. He could feel his own blood pumping underneath the pads of Shinji's fingers, said brunet had a look of wonder and fascination on his face.

Kaworu smiled as some stray strands of silver hair fell into his eyes. "It's beautiful. isn't it?"

Shinji blinked owlishly, confusion evident. 

"Life." The Fifth Child explained with a chuckle. "When God created people he made them soft and warm with a heartbeat. It's a wonderful gift to know that if we ever feel lost or begin to question if we're really alive we can reach out," he moved one of his hands from its resting place at the ex-pilot's back and pressed it gently to the left side of Shinji's chest. "And feel the proof for ourselves."

The sense of awe came back over the blue eyed boy's features. "That's amazing!" He exclaimed. "I can feel you living right now..." He could feel his own heartbeat against the palm of the angel's hand, as well as its warmth. 

"It's one of the reasons that living creatures seek out physical contact, especially lilim." Kaworu moved to straddle the ex-pilot's waist, not disturbing their hands as he did so. "Feeling connected to someone else counteracts other feelings of isolation and loneliness." The silvery teen leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "Perhaps loneliness is part of how lilim connect so deeply to one another. Does that make me selfish for not wanting you to feel alone?" He murmured.

Shinji flushed pink at the words. "No. I don't want you to feel lonely, either." He closed his eyes and tried to match his breathing with that of the angel on top of him. Maybe if he was still enough he would be able to feel everyone in the world around him.

Warm lips pressed against his and he disregarded the thought. This closeness was special; He only wanted Kaworu to be this close to him.

 

..............

 

Kensuke stared at the ceiling of his tent, his hands behind his head as he laid on the ground. There were still a few cicadas chirping outside.

_'The ecosystem is returning to its former state - that's what Miss Misato said.'_

Shinji was MIA. He had tried asking Misato about it but she had avoided him and said that Shinji and the other pilots were busy at NERV. Kensuke's father's records said nothing to the contrary so he and Toji had been willing to believe that for awhile. 

But Saturday Rei and Asuka had come back for the half day.

Shinji hadn't.

He and Toi had asked the First Child about him but she said she wasn't allowed to tell them anything.

He could only imagine how worried Toji was after hearing that. Kensuke, himself, was only too aware of what Rei's answer meant, The whole issue must have been classified. So Shinji was probably dead, badly injured, or discovered something that he wasn't supposed to know. Possibilities numbers one and three were the worst. If Shinji had uncovered something they had probably killed him already and if he was dead or had been injured in some other way it might be related to an experiment of some kind.

Kensuke honestly hoped Shinji was injured, or else AWOL and that nobody knew where he was. That left good odds of the brunet still being alive.

"Shinji, don't die on us. Toji'd never get over it. I don't think I would, either." Kensuke had spent from the time he could toddle playing war. The fear of being shot in the head by an imaginary sniper was easier to deal with then the fear of the earth dying all around you. He'd take imminent danger over waiting for a slow and only potential end any day.

And because life was cruel, he was stuck in a situation that was both a reality of war and something he hated. "No use killing myself stressing over something I can't control." Kensuke rolled over and shut his eyes firmly. Tomorrow he would go with Toji to see if they could find Shinji in any of the hospitals in Tokyo-3. Right now, he needed sleep.

..............

 

Rei absently listened to the television that was in the other room as she finished making supper. Misato was already going to be late again and Asuka was in the living room with Pen-Pen watching her soap opera. 

The First Child didn't really understand what the redhead saw in shows like that. It might have been because this particular program tended to have characters speaking in German. After everything that had happened, Asuka probably found it comforting. 

Rei wondered if she should start learning how to speak German herself as she turned off her instant ramen and dished up curry onto two plates. One plate she set off to the side for Asuka, the other she covered in plastic wrap and put in the fridge. The silvery-blue haired girl wrote down the food that was in the refrigerator, how long to heat it for, and not to forget to take the plastic wrap off, before using a smiley face magnet to put the note on the refrigerator door for Misato.

_'I think you'll make a good mother, Ayanami.'_

Red eyes blinked as he remembered those words. This definitely wasn't what Shinji had meant when he'd said that. But it was a very motherly thing to be doing, wasn't it? Yui Ikari would have done something like this, wouldn't she? Rei wondered if Shinji would say something like that to her again when he came back.

Yes, 'when'. There was no room for 'if'.

She put the leftover curry into Pen-Pen's bowl before taking Asuka's and her own food out to the living room. 

The redhead was sitting on the living room floor, eyes glued to the TV, and Pen-Pen sitting on her lap. She raised her head at the sound of the other girl's footsteps. She locked eyes with Rei but didn't say anything.

The First Child handed Asuka her plate. "Here." She said. Crimson eyes then shifted to look at the hot springs penguin. "I left yours in the kitchen." 

Pen-Pen gave a squawk of acknowledgement and got off the German girl's lap to go get his own supper.

Rei watched the penguin go before sitting down next to Asuka, who had already gone back to watching her show. The silvery haired girl wasn't really interested in the program but she kept her eyes on the screen as she ate.

Another line was said in German and the redhead scoffed. "Dummkopf." She muttered.

"What is it?" Rei asked perplexed. It the man in the show had done something stupid she had no idea what it was.

The Second Child rolled her eyes and fixed a stare on the First. She repeated the line the man had just said. "It's wrong. It should be -" Then she said it again, but this time it sounded different. "Really, what business do they have writing the show if they can't get the language right? - It's an insult!" She put a spoonful of curry into her mouth in an irritated fashion.

Rei repeated the phrase that the other girl had said was correct slowly. The words felt funny on her tongue, strange and foreign. As far as pronunciation went she must have had a thick accent, but it was enough to get Asuka's attention.

Light blue eyes came to rest on the pale girl's frame again. "No Wonder Girl. Like this - " She repeated it again, this time saying it a bit slower.

Rei mimicked the redhead, paying special attention to the way her lips should move as that and sound were all she had to go on. 

They repeated this process several times before the Second Child made a satisfied sound in her throat and turned back to the TV. "It still sounds terrible but it's good enough for now." An increase in the volume on the television signaled the end of the conversation.

The other girl blinked and felt the beginnings of a smile on her lips. It looked like she was going to be learning German, after all. "It's time for bed." She said after awhile when the credits were rolling on the TV.

Asuka turned off the power and stood up. She went straight to her bedroom, resolutely not looking at stupid missing Shinji's bedroom door as she passed it.

Rei gathered up the dishes that she had been let to deal with. It would be for the best if she washed them tonight. There was never enough time for things like that in the morning before school. Besides, it would give the German girl time to change into her sleep clothes seeing as she didn't like having anyone in her room when she did.

Once the dishes were set to dry the First Child made her way into the shared room. "Asuka. I'm coming in." When no sound of protest followed, Rei opened the door.

The lights were already off and Asuka was laying on half the futon. facing the wall.

The silvery haired girl changed into the PJs she was borrowing from the other and climbed under the covers. 

"You need to develop a sense of modesty Wonder Girl." Asuka's voice floated back to the other occupant of the room. "Not everyone has my high morals and won't peep."

Rei dismissed the sharp words as a sign that the redhead was starting to come back to her old self. For a few days right after her release from the hospital she had made Rei seem talkative. Maybe seeing Hikari at school had uplifted her mood? One could only hope.

"Goodnight Asuka."

...........

 

Kaworu tapped his fingers on the counter to the tune of 'Fly Me to the Moon' that was playing throughout the bakery. It wasn't the original by Frank Sinatra but a cover by a female vocalist that was quite pleasing on the ears.

The store had just opened for the day so there weren't any customers yet. Sally was manning the cash register, Kaworu was at the counter, and Shinji was sweeping the floor.

The black ear buds were almost unnoticeable from where the brunet was standing. He kept his eyes mostly focused on his work, occasionally glancing over at the other two.

Shinji was still a little unnerved and wasn't up to being overly social. The only person he had spoken to so far today was Kaworu.

Sally had just smiled and said nothing about it. She was perfectly willing to let the boy do whatever it was he needed for his own sake. He would be more social when he was ready.

Just then the bell jingled and an elderly man with a kind face walked in the door. When his eyes met with Mrs. White's he smiled. "Sally, you keep looking more beautiful by the day. When are you going to elope with me?" He said fondly.

Kaworu was thoroughly confused by this statement and glanced from Shinji, to the man, to his boss.

The woman laughed, happy with the greeting. "Benjamin," she paused to catch her breath. "You know you can only marry me once and you already have." Her voice held a teasing note as she spoke.

Her husband replied without missing a beat. "That's the only problem I can find with marrying you - I can only do it once."

"Flatterer."

Shinji looked over helplessly in Kaworu's direction hoping for an explanation. There had been too much too fast for him to have any idea that was going on.

Before the angel could say anything, Benjamin spoke. "You must be Kaworu. Sally talks about you boys quite a bit at home." He walked over to the ex-Eva pilot who was still standing out of the way and greeted him in clear Japanese. "You're Shinji, aren't you? I'm Benjamin, Sally's husband. It's nice to meet you."

Both boys were momentarily stunned by the introduction. Shinji recovered and reached to take the ear buds out of his ears. "I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you." He voiced hesitantly. 

The elderly man chuckled. "It's fine. Music is good for the soul. Do you play?"

The question caught the blue eyed boy off guard. "Cello. But..." He couldn't keep eye contact with the man and let his gaze settle on the floor. "...I don't have one right now..." He said quietly, his right hand opening and closing by his side as he spoke. They had been in a bit hurry that night and as a consequence had barely taken anything with them. Instruments were big and drew attention so his cello and Kaworu's violin had been along the things that had been left behind.

Benjamin's voice was warm and gentle with his next words. "That's alright. Things will turn out and you'll be playing again." 

While the two of them were caught up in their conversation. Sally addressed the angel at the counter with her. "Some time before the Second Impact when we were young. Benjamin spent a few years in Japan as a therapist of sorts for teens that had been through traumatic and semi-traumatic experiences. I've told him about you two, and not that some things have been settled, Benjamin's going to be working at the bakery again."

The Fifth Child nodded; listening to everything he was told. A therapist? Maybe talking to Benjamin would so Shinji some good. Even if they couldn't discuss their lives in Tokyo-3 in detail, the elderly man's field was traumatized teens so maybe he could do something to help the brunet.

After another couple of minutes the Third Child walked back over to the angel and went through the motions of wiping down the already-clean counter. Benjamin was a very kind and understanding person, but right now Shinji needed a little space so he could fully digest their conversation. It made him happy, though. He was surrounded by people who were kind to him for seemingly no other reason than he was there to be kind to.

Kaworu wrapped his arms around the lilim boy's shoulders and watched him for a moment before speaking. "Do you want to help me stock the shelves?" He asked softly into the shell of the other's ear.

A blush crept down the boy's neck when he felt the warm breath tickle him. "U-um s-sure." It was moments like this that made Shinji wonder what the silver haired boy had said when he introduced them both two weeks ago. It certainly must have been something to make contact like this go without comment. 

While the boys were thus occupied, Sally and Benjamin shared a look and smiled but said nothing, opting instead to take care of some other tasks around the bakery.

The morning passed with the expected flow of customers, more of them being people on their way to work. Those that were regulars at Whistling Winds made sure to speak to Benjamin and welcome him back to the bakery. Once such customer was Anne.

"Hey, old timer." The young woman said as she walked into the shop. "I haven't seen you around here in a while." She smiled and walked over to the two ex-Evangelion pilots at the counter. "Could you sweethearts get me a loaf of French bread and a sweet roll?"

Benjamin chuckled at Anne's greeting. "I'm just getting back up to speed, hot shot. Nothing to worry about."

During this exchange the boys were getting their requested goods. The Third Child had no trouble getting the sweet roll Anne had pointed to in the case. 

Kaworu's luck on the ladder when he for the loaf of break from a high shelf was... not as good.

On his way down he scratched the palm of his left hand on the ladder. The Fifth Child winced and got down. He made sure not to touch the loaf with his injured hand and gave it to Anne, closing said hand into a loose fist at his side.

The woman gave her thanks and said a few more words before remembering that she had to get going. "See you later!" She called as the door closed behind her, receipt still sticking out of the cash register.

"Really," Sally said with a sigh and a fond smile. "That girl never changes." She took the slip of paper and dropped it into the waste basket.

Shinji's eyes lingered on the door where Anne had made her exit from a few seconds ago. Not speaking the same language as almost everyone else mean that he caught himself noticing things a bit differently. He had no idea what was going on most of the time and that alone was scary, but some people just had a way of talking and acting that conveyed a general message without words.

Anne was always full of energy - but not in a bad way. She just didn't seem very adept at sitting still.

When the brunet turned to ask the other boy what had happened, he saw the red fluid that was running down pale skin... "Kaworu, you're bleeding!"

The exclamation startled the angel, but he barely had time to acknowledge it before Shinji grabbed his wrist. Kaworu's hand opened easily and he watched the other with worried eyes.

Benjamin's head snapped in the boy's direction at the outburst. He saw the blood that Shinji had talked about as well as the way he was reacting. "Sally, get the first aide kit." He said, already on his way over.

Sally didn't even need to ask. In the time that the boys had worked there she had never heard either of them come that close to screaming. Especially not Shinji.

The Third Child tried to stay calm as his breath came out too fast and shallow. But Kaworu was **bleeding** and there was just so much of it. He took the corner of his shirt and pressed it to the open palm, the blood seeped through the fabric and onto the boy's own hand. He could feel himself starting to shake as his breathing got worse. 

Kaworu opened his mouth to say something but Benjamin came over.

"Come on, boys." He said, looking between the two of them. "Let's get Kaworu somewhere he can sit down so Sally can look at that hand." 

The elderly man managed to guide Shinji to a spot on the floor next to the Fifth Child's chair and keep him from hyperventilating. 

During all of this, Shinji clung to the silver haired teen's uninjured hand with both of his own like a lifeline. He could hear Benjamin talking to him him about something unrelated, the calmness of the man's voice helped to steady his nerves. But in truth, his mind was still on Kaworu. Seeing the angel like that - it was just too much. Too much like piloting an Eva. Too much like almost killing Toji.

"There we go." Sally said at last, securing the gauze to the pale hand. "It was just a scratch but it certainly did bleed." She started to put the bandages and disinfectant back into the first aide kit. It was always those little scratched that seemed to bleed the most.

The pale boy looked over to his lady boss' handiwork and smiled. "Thank you." Then his complete attention went back to Shinji. The other boy sat beside him, holding his uninjured hand and keeping his gaze on the floor. 

The red eyed teen place his other hand over one of the Third Child's own to get his attention.

Shinji lifted his head up suddenly at the unexpected contact. Blue eyes swiftly darted from the bandaged hand atop his own to the angel's face. His gaze held the question that he was unable to convey vocally. 

Kaworu smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine." He said. "It's just a scratch."

"But - " The brunet blurted worriedly. "But..." ... all that blood...

The Fifth Child easily caught what the other boy was getting at. His expression changed to something a little concerned but still very reassuring. "Shinji..." He got out of the chair and sat down next to the teen, wrapping his arms around the small body. "Don't worry. It's alright." He spoke softly and warmly, holding the lilim boy close.

Shinji let his head rest on the older teen's shoulder as he began to truly calm down. He could feel Kaworu's heart beating steadily against his own body. Blue eyes closed slowly, now that the fear and panic had passed the Third Child felt drained - like a wrung out washcloth. His hands loosely gripped the fabric of the other's shirt as they sat there.

"Thank goodness that's over." Sally murmured to her husband. "Those boys had me worried." She gave a relieved sigh, freezing mid-breath at the look on her spouse's face.

Benjamin was wearing a grim, serious look. It was an expression that she had only ever seen scarcely in all the time that they had known each other, most often when the subject of his work in Japan came up. This couldn't be good.

"Ben?" Sally asked tentatively, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"This is worse than I thought." The elderly man mumbled. more to himself than to his wife. _'Just what on earth happened? To **both** those boys?'_ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about it. When Benjamin opened his eyes again, he gave the woman beside him an easy-going smile. "You're right Sally, thank goodness. Let's keep them off the ladders today while I figure out how that scratch happened."

Sally slid her hand off of her husband's shoulder and nodded. They could talk about this later, right now she needed to held Shinji wash the blood out of his shirt before it stained.

 

.............

 

The bell tinkled as Kaworu and Shinji said their goodbyes before leaving the shop for the day. The weather was pleasant, a faint breeze would blow from time-to-time and the sun hadn't set yet. 

The walked at a leisurely pace to the grocery store.

The brunet felt the angel walking beside him shift the way that their hands were clasped so their fingers threaded together. The Third Child flushed but said nothing about it. He was too full of the calm around him to say anything just then.

"It feels nice." Kaworu said softly as a gust of wind ruffled his hair.

Shinji was captivated by the sigh of the other so that it took him a moment to find his voice. "M-mm." The lilim boy tilted his head upwards. The sky was calm, still more blue than red, with only a few clouds drifting lazily by. "It's hard to believe that the anniversary of the Second Impact is going to be coming up." He said thoughtfully, looking back at the other teen then. It felt too peaceful for something like that to be so nearby but he didn't voice that thought.

The Fifth Child's face changed to a look that Shinji didn't recognize. His expression looked a little like he'd been pinched and his bright red eyes were staring at something far away, something only he could see. "Fifteen years..." His voice sounded far off, too.

The ex-pilot of Unit-01 didn't like that. His grip on the pale hand tightened. "I wasn't even born yet when it happened." The brunet talked quickly and nervously, trying to call Kaworu back to the place next to him.

"I meant me." 

Blue eyes blinked. Once. Twice. "Huh?"

Kaworu's red orbs refocused on Shinji. "The anniversary of the Second Impact." He said by way of explanation. "I'll be fifteen then."

It only took a split second for that tidbit of information to register but to Shinji it felt like forever for his brain to catch up to him. _'The Second Impact is Kaworu's birthday. His birthday is coming up...'_ The reaction from there happened just as quickly. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He caught himself half demanding. "This is a big deal, you know!"

The angel had stopped walking when the other boy had, and was now staring wide-eyed. "I suppose the birth of Tabris is important." He said slowly, still feeling a bit shocked. "SEELE considered the event itself important but the anniversary of it didn't hold any special significance - the 17th angel had already been born."

The brunet lilim shook his head. "That isn't what I meant. It's really important because it's **Kaworu's** birthday." He looked down suddenly. It was too embarrassing to say the rest while staring the other boy in the face. Shinji's cheeks turned red as he forced the rest out. "Your birthday is special to me. I would never have met you if it hadn't happened." By now his eyes were squeezed shut and he could feel himself blushing up to his ears. He didn't want a world without Kaworu in it, even if that meant the Second Impact. It was selfish, but giving up what he valued never for Shinji anywhere good. "NERV, the angels, the Second Impact, none of that matters. The only thing that matters to me is Kaworu." 

The wide-eyed look didn't leave the Fifth Child's face the entire time his fellow pilot spoke. Just the thought that something like his birthday could mean so much to someone - so much to **Shinji** \- made him unbearably happy. He had always understood that his birth had not caused the lilim any joy, that the price for free will was a certain measure of unhappiness, but now he was being told that he brought joy just because it was him. Not as Tabris the 17th angel, but as Kaworu Nagisa.

Slowly, he smiled. "Thank you, Shinji. That makes me very happy." He said sincerely, brushing his thumb against the younger's hand in the hopes of coaxing the other boy to look at him.

The Third Child complied with the silent request, face still very pink. "G-good. I want you to be happy." He started to walk again, the had that was clasping the other's urged the angel to do the same. "We need to finish shopping." They hadn't even started yet, but Shinji was still a bit disoriented from all the new information.

Kaworu made an agreeing him as he reclaimed his place abreast of the brunet. It was getting late and they still had supper to cook.


End file.
